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Personal Works
This is a collection of some of my favorite works I've created over the years. Enjoy!
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Bittersweet
I just want to kiss you
I would sell my soul just to know what your lips taste like
To have their sweetness linger on my own
I just want to run my fingers through your hair
To feel it’s softness on my fingertips
And it’s sweet smell in my nose
I just want to hold you
To feel the warmth of your skin
And feel your heartbeat through your chest
I just want to look at you
To admire your smile without judgement
And to find the secrets held in those eyes
I just want to hear your laugh
To know your happy
And that your smile will last when I’m gone
I just want to pretend
To not care the way I do
And that the love I hold for you is that of a friend
I just want this to be easy
To walk away unscathed
And for you to do the same
I just want to forget you
To lose the affection in which I hold for you
And to numb my heart as it has started to hurt
I just want to leave you behind
To walk away and feel nothing
A bittersweet goodbye
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To Lie
Tears fall from my eyes
I can feel their warmth and taste their salt
Yet I feel nothing
It seems I wasn’t meant to be free
My wax wings are melting
And I am falling
Maybe the ocean will be kind
When I plunge into its depths
But who am I to ask that of such a beast
I am just a naive little kid
Who saw the brightness of the sun
And thought they could reach it
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Untitled 1
I promised I’d never do this again
Never feel the way I do right now
That my heart would never hurt again
At least not in the ways it does now
My heart turns cold,
And my tears dry up,
God forbid I feel an emotion or two
I turn my sadness into anger,
my sorrow into rage,
And push the bad far far away
I made myself immune,
So I couldn’t feel the deep hole in my heart
Or the harshness of the insults
That often clouds my thoughts
So tell me why I’m sitting here,
Broken and bloody,
In pain and unbearable loneliness,
Yet I’m missing you?
I feel no anger,
No rage,
Just pain,
Throbbing, unbearable pain
And I can’t escape it
Not anymore
And I hate it
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Autumn Paradise
It still follows me
The past
It hides in my closet,
Makes itself known in my mirror
It slips into my pockets,
And it follows me home
I cannot escape it
Even in this autumn paradise
The air is crisp but not harsh
The weather not sweltering but the frost has yet to come
And on the colder days I have you
The warmth to my hands,
The wind in my lungs,
The cadence by which I live rests inside your chest,
And yet
I am terrified of you
Of the power I have given you in this Autumn paradise
The hands that warm mine have a dangerous grip on my heart
The wind that braces my lungs stings with brevity
The arms that hold me are firm and strong, ready to crush me
And the cadence of your heart ticks
like a clock
Reminding me that our time is limited
Yet I am addicted
To this warm safety and the adrenaline of this risk I am taking
The risk that is entirely in your hands
I am so afraid of the end
of this Autumn paradise
But I don’t contain the will to pry my hands from it
And so I fear you
And I fear this
And I stay
For I cannot bare to leave
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Romance of the Body
In every body,
Is a hint of beauty and romance,
In some it shines bright, revealing itself to the world
And in others, it hides away, afraid of the harsh world outside
It hopes to be forgotten, as it’s safer that way
And some of us have forgotten,
The romance and the beauty deep inside of us has been hiding far too long
We forget the smoothness of our skin after a bath,
The softness of newly clean hair,
The beauty marks that dot our skin in decor,
And the oil that makes our faces glow in the sun
We forget the complexity of our features,
The tears that fall in sadness and in joy
The sweat that rolls down our skin as we bake in the sun or run free in the wind
The goosebumps that show our connection to the world
And the smiles that can brighten a day without even trying
We forget the beauty in aging,
How the wrinkles formed from too much laughter,
How the silver hair reflects the sun,
And how the youth in our eyes never seems to fade,
Forever young and wild
We forget about the plushness of our bodies
How the squishy bits are soft pillows for our loved ones
And the solid bits support them with love
How the roundness of a belly should remind us to be thankful for the food we have been given, or a new life on its way
We forget the lovely shape of our bodies,
The thick muscle in our thighs,
forged from hard work and heavy lifting
The broad shoulders,
Allowing for swift movement through water
And the little pouch that sits on our stomach,
From the “cheat” days that are so well deserved
It’s time to love ourselves,
let our romance roam free
We must never forget the beauty of our bodies
And the romance in our hearts
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Honey Golden Eyes
She truly is my sun now
Her honey gold eyes that look into mine with such adoration
The warm brunette hair that rests so elegantly on her soft shoulders
That simile and those dimples that continue to leave me breathless
Her laugh that could light up my heart for a century
And believe me it does
I didn’t think I had any room in my heart for a love like this
So simple and uncomplicated
Yet so vast it takes my entire being over
Its warm and bright
And I surely don’t deserve it
But I just can’t help but allow it to fulfill me
And I just can’t help but be hopelessly in love with her
My honey golden sun
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Outside Alone
I’ve lived to see yet another year
I don’t really know how
As this one was particularly hard
There’s something so aging about being alone in the world
Truly alone for the first time
In one hand I am glad to have escaped the hell I left behind
And in the other I find myself missing it
Longing for the familiarity
The web of lies that looked so pretty in the sunlight
The fires that weathered my skin into a thick and coarse layer of protection
And out here I am alone
No lies to comfort me
No fires to harden my skin
Just the knives
Ready to rake at my arms and down my sides
I can’t avoid them
They won’t go away with a brilliantly weaved web of deception
My heat weathered skin is no match for their sharpened edges
This is a foe I haven’t seen before
Haven’t prepared for
And just like before I have no one to teach me to handle this new enemy
No one to lend me their shield while I recover from the blows they have already managed to land
So I sit here
In this new world
Alone
Bleeding
But nevertheless surviving
Because if I survived the hell I came from
I’ll make this one my bitch